Turn to page 452 of the Troll Miscellany of Miscellaneous Trollery, and you’ll find an entry on notably brave trolls of notoriety. It reads:

Notably Brave Trolls of Notoriety:

Er.

Now, it may well be that not all acts of troll bravery made it to the attention of the editor in chief of the TdoubleMT, whom it is rumoured, spent most of his time smoking chorrie root pipes, and grinning at nothing in particular; else it may well be that trolls are simply not known for their bravery.

It is for you, reader to determine. Based on the evidence that follows.

As he strode into the Honestists’ camp, Ikol, the giant, was happily unperturbed. He had size on his side.

And our cowering troll? What did he have?

A sleeping emotuftie for protection. And the concealing qualities of Ikol’s beard.

Right.

It was tricky seeing through Ikol’s beard, but through the thick bristly hair, troll could make out a number of large pits. And each large pit contained a roaring fire. And over each large pit a tall, teetering scaffold. And on each tall, teetering scaffold there were things. Hanging, dangling, writhing things…

And around the edges of the pits, numerous Honestists had gathered. They held long sticks, and poked the hanging things if they stopped moving. They were laughing.

Troll grimaced. Winced. And closed his eyes tight.

Ikol! One exclaimed, and then another, and another. Ikol waved, as the Honestists started heading towards him, waving, cheering. Elated.

And then Ikol stopped.

And lifting up his chin, he reached in under his beard and pulled troll out by an ankle, holding him upside down above the waving, cheering throng.

Look what I brought you! He thundered.

Troll looked down, the Honestists looked up. The emotuftie, now awake, had wrapped itself around troll’s neck, and was hanging on for grim death.

The Honestists were quiet.

This one, continued Ikol, tells the truth.

There was a gasp, and then whispering and…what? What was that? Troll strained to hear…

Then a cry went up.

Let’s roast him!

And, with the sound of cheering and Roast him! Roast him! in his ears, troll felt himself falling to the ground…and many, many, many hands upon him.

Fire

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